Step 1: Acknowledge the Problem
The first step to overcoming this addiction is admitting it exists. Recognize how this addiction has affected you (self-esteem, relationships, overall quality of life, etc.). What are you willing to do about it? Take a moment for an honest self-assessment.
Step 2: Visualization of Two Paths
Sketch out your future if you continue your current behavior and how it will affect important areas of your life (e.g., health, self-esteem, relationships). Then, sketch an alternative path shaped by overcoming this addiction and visualize your improved health, relationships, and spiritual growth. Internalize these futures. Which path do you want to pursue?
Step 3: Understand the Nature of Habits
Habits, whether positive or negative, are powerful behaviors formed through repetition. They consist of three main components: triggers, behaviors, and rewards.
Triggers: A habit begins with a trigger—something that initiates the behavior. In the context of pornography and masturbation, triggers may include loneliness with unrestricted access to pornographic material, being overworked and seeking distraction and satisfaction, or other situations.
Behavior: This is the habitual action itself. Over time, the behavior becomes automatic, creating a strong pattern in your brain.
Reward: After the routine, there’s a sense of relief, pleasure, or distraction, reinforcing the habit. Even though the reward is temporary, it creates a powerful craving to repeat the behavior.
Step 4: Identify Your Triggers
Chances are high that your triggers have an almost automated chain reaction to the addictive behavior. To help detect your triggers, create a personal log documenting your daily behaviors. Reflect on:
Where are you?
What time is it?
How are you feeling? (Angry/Annoyed, Bored, Hungry, Lonely, Tired, Sick, Stressed, etc.)
Who else is around?
What were you doing before the urge?
Step 5: Set Clear Boundaries and Goals
Minimize triggers and temptations. For example:
Remove digital devices when you’re alone.
Use tools like internet filters or accountability software.
Set a realistic goal, such as going a day, week, or month without indulging in pornography or masturbation.
Step 6: Alternative Routines
Replace harmful habits with positive alternatives. Make a list of rewarding activities like:
Calling a friend.
Taking a walk/Going for a run.
Practicing a hobby.
Have this list handy to overwrite the old habit. Over time, healthier activities will replace destructive behaviors.
Step 7: Seek Accountability and Support
Confide in a trusted friend, mentor, counselor, or support group who can withhold judgment and encourage you. Accountability reduces isolation.
Step 8: Address Underlying Issues
Addiction often stems from deeper issues such as childhood trauma, emotional struggles, or distorted beliefs. Seek therapy to explore these root causes and gain healthy coping mechanisms.
Step 9: Stay Committed to Spiritual Growth
Faith and spirituality play a crucial role in overcoming addiction. Regular worship and fellowship can encourage and strengthen you. Claim God’s promises and surrender your life to Jesus. He will deliver you from bondage and set you free!
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:7-9, KJV)
Step 10: Resilience
Overcoming pornography and masturbation addiction is challenging but achievable. Stay consistent, embrace setbacks as learning experiences, and remain committed to growth. By taking these intentional steps, you can break the chains of guilt and shame. Take the first step on your recovery journey today!
Erwin G. Nanasi, DWS, serves as an associate pastor of worship and music at the Spencerville Seventh-day Adventist Church in Silver Spring, Maryland, USA.
