Are you walking through a difficult solitary season in your life right now? Perhaps, like me, you know the ache of loneliness or the frustration of thinking you’ve been passed by. Perhaps you feel that the enemy has stolen your happiness or that he is trying to destroy your faith. But have you discovered the abundant joy that Jesus brings, the joy that shines brightest in the quiet solitary seasons?
The Bible tells us, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. But I [Jesus] have come that [you] may have life, and that [you] may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10).
Following are seven ways to help your heart thrive even in the midst of the most difficult solitary seasons. These are all based on God’s Word, and He does not change.
Remember that God is good, and He’s working all things together for our good! No… life isn’t always good, and tough things happen. But God is still good, and His goodness never changes. Root yourself in this truth and start meditating on His goodness rather than your pain. (See Ps. 52:1 and Romans 8:18, 28.)
Don’t forget Who is on your team! Loneliness in the solitary seasons can become suffocating as we often feel we are walking and fighting life’s battles alone. However, God’s Word reminds us, “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? (Rom. 8:31) Remember you never fight alone, and you never walk alone! You have the King of Kings on your side. (See Heb. 13:5)
Be real with God! He can handle it, and He will never turn you away (see John 6:37). It’s okay to be angry, to cry, to question God when you don’t understand what He’s doing. It’s okay to have unfulfilled longings. We all have them. But ultimately, after we have had it out with God, we must wrap all the tears, questions, loneliness, disappointments, and unfulfilled longings up in one big bundle, and lift that bundle up in surrender to God. Such gifts are precious material for sacrifice to our King. Such gifts also give us a fresh opportunity to say, “Lord, I may not understand, I may not feel very good right now about my current season, but I choose to trust You anyway. And someday I know you will take all my tears away” (see Ps. 147:3 and Rev. 21:4).
Embrace the solitary season! Rather than trying to rush through the current season, embrace it. Thank God for the opportunity He’s given you to grow and develop faith muscles in ways that you might not otherwise have. Psalm 119:71 tells us, “It is good for me that I have been afflicted, That I may learn Your statutes.”
Get a love life! You heard me right. Jesus wants to be our first and best love, but often in the distractions of life, He only gets a passing thought. However, His Word tells us, “In His presence is fullness of joy” (Ps. 16:11). Make Jesus your first love and your first priority. Spend unrushed, undistracted time in His presence daily and everything else in life will fall into place as you discover He is the best lover, and He really does have everything you need (see Jer. 31:3 and Matt. 6:33).
Move from single-focused to service focused! In solitary seasons it’s easy to become quite self-focused. But instead of dwelling on what you don’t have, instead of wallowing in self-pity, ask God how you can serve others during this unique time in your life. Jesus stepped out of the glories of heaven to come to this cold dark earth. He should have received special treatment, yet we are told, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many" (Mark 10:45).
Give lavishly rather than living lavishly! You can never outgive God. Start laying up treasures in heaven. The Bible tells us, “Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you" (Luke 6:38).
There you have it! Rather than falling prey to the enemy’s devices during your solitary season, allow God to use your difficult and solitary seasons as stepping stones to greater growth and a more fruitful and abundant life with Him. He wants to take what the enemy intends for evil and turn it around for good. Rather than just trying to survive, with God at your side your solitary season can be one of the best times to thrive.
Melody Mason coordinates “Back to the Altar” for the General Conference Ministerial Association. Several parts of this article were taken from her newest book, My Single Joy: Finding Peace and Purpose in the Middle of Life’s Difficult and Solitary Seasons.
